My life is a sitcom

OOOkay.

So, I decide to take a nap today. Here's how it works for most people.

You lie on your bed.
You fall asleep.

Here's how it works for me.

I lie on my bed.
I close my eyes
The puppy starts barking
I hear a crash
My youngest son screams
My oldest son says, "mom, he cut his foot on some glass and it's bleeding"
I say--"help him clean it and put a bandaid on it."
Then the fight starts between the two of them
"Mom--he's hurting me"
"Hey--be still so I can get this done"
Puppy starts to bark again
Silence.
Okay--try nap again.
Close eyes
"MOM!"
"WHAT?"
"The vacuum cleaner is smoking!"
"Then turn it off and clean the filter"
Silence. Try nap again
"MOM"
"WHAT??????"
"What's for dinner?"
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT"
"Okay, Mom!"

Obviously, I'm not going to get a nap. So, I start dinner. I'll take a second to write this in my blog.

Dinner just caught on fire.